Pizza and Bikes

Yesterday I sent an sms to hubby (yeah, simcard no longer kaput!!). Asked whether he had eaten and told him how much we all missed him (serious, susah nak tido takde cik abg teddybear kat sebelah).

2 minutes later, I received a reply from him.

"Makan sandwich je lunch tadi. nasib baik ada tuna. mlm tadi nasib baik jumpa pizza. mcd/burger king dia xda fish. makan pizza kena rm50. air kosong je tu. miss u 2."

Alahai, sib baik aku tak ikut, if not my face also will be like pizza when coming back. Like I said, Denmark is expensive.

Just 2 more days until DH comes home. Alahai, rindunya....

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Yesterday I took the kids to the playground. It's been a while since we've been there because either the weather wasn't permitting us to go or I arrived home too late. So yesterday, when the kids asked me to take them to the playground, I said yes. Dania had just recently mastered riding her two-wheeler so the kids decided to ride their bikes to the playground. Which was great, except on the way back, Dina got tired. Of course, that meant I had to push her and her bike all the way home. Grrr...

Coz the "China Doll" look is so 80's

Like all moms, I think my kids rule. My kids are the cutest. My kids are the smartest. It's not a matter of being kiasu, it's just unconditional motherly love.

I'm not saying your kids aren't good looking; I'm sure they're perfect. But when my kids smile, boy, can they melt your heartstrings.

But now, I've found a product that can make them even cuter!! Is that possible? How, you ask?

By decking them out in Baby Toupees!!!

Check them out.

I think Dania would look good in a "Rachel" toupee; for Dina, I'm thinking Tyra Banks!! America's Next Top Model, ya 'all!

* taken from http://gigglesugar.com (thanks to Moby for the link!)

I am a "ugifte forældre" this week

I'm a single parent this week. Last night hubby took off to Denmark for a conference, in other words getting a free vacation on company's money while picking pamphlets from the various booth operators, you know, just to show that he actually DID attend the damn event.

Why didn't I follow? For one thing, Dania still has school. That's right, everyone else is enjoying their school holidays and my little girl still has school to attend too. Until the 15th of December!! Freaking kiasu Smart Reader!!

Not that I couldn't ask my M-I-L to come and babysit the kids but after checking out the weather info, I decided to axe my plans of hitchhiking with hubby across Europe. Reason - it's freaking -2 degrees over there right now!! Holy stiff nipples, batman!! Most likely, my plans to go trotting and shopping through the street of Copenhagen would be replaced by watching HBO or the Adult Channel in the hotel room.

Plus also, everything is damn expensive in Denmark (according to Tripadvisor.com). Dinner (without drinks) could cut you back by USD40-50. Hubby bought packets of instant mee and instant soup with him. I told him, just grab a basket of danish bread during breakfast and let that be your lunch and dinner too. Hehehee...

Finding Denmark money (kroner) was no easy feat. A lot of the money exchange booths we went to didn't even carry the currency. We found one in MV but they had limited supply, so in the end hubby exchanged money for some Euro bills.

I hope hubby can smuggle in some of those Danish buns back home. Hmmmm....buns.

Human Tetris

One thing I love about the Japanese apart from their high spirit of dedication, is their sense of humour. I remember when we were growing up, me and my brothers would always look forward to watching "Istana Takeshi", which was basically a really stupid yet highly hilarious game show.

My brother gave me a link to another Japanese game show and I must say I laughed until tears came to my eyes. I think also...yeah...little pee came out too. Hahahahaha...

It's called "The Human Tetris".

Seriously, how do the Japanese come up with these game show concepts?

Enjoy!!!


ps: You can watch more clips on YouTube. Just search for "Human Tetris". :D

A Birthday Note to Dina Yasmin - 3 Years Old

My dearest Dina,


First of all, let ibu apologize for the delay in getting your Birthday Note up. You may not understand it now but for the past month, ibu was in a very sad place and just couldn't find the strength to write any happy notes as I should.


I don't know how much of the situation do you understand but you do know that ibu no longer has a baby in her tummy. Eventhough you may not comprehend what that means entirely, you do understand the fact that I get sad sometimes and that I need comforting. Something that you have been very good at these past weeks, with all your kisses and your hugs.


Your birthday celebration was small and simple; just you, your sister, abah and ibu. I bought your cake from Auntie Noresh who did such a great job decorating the cake with your favorite cartoon character, Spongebob. Your sister was more impressed with the cake than you were but you did give me a fierce hug and a whispered thank you.




What should I write about you turning 3? Maybe the fact that you've grown much taller and even filled out in the tummy area. Maybe the fact that eventhough you've left the Terrible Two territory, you've entered the Terrifying Three zone, which is much worst because now I can actually understand all the scolding that you give me for not making your juice the exact way you like it, or for making you share stuff with your sister. Yeah, this not-sharing thing, has got to stop because God help me, if I have to listen to one more yell of ibu, adik rampas my color pencil!!, then somebody is going to sleep outside with the stray cat that won't go away.
Maybe I should write about how Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne is your favorite song or that you now know how to draw balloons and suns. Maybe the fact that you're left-handed should also be mentioned here because not only do you write with your left hand, you eat, drink, throw and hit with your left hand too. Sometimes I think you became a lefty just so you could be MORE different than everyone else because if there is one word that can summarize you is DIFFERENT.


My dearest Tigger,

But you being different is exactly why I love you so much. I love the way talk, eventhough you're still pelat, it gives me the sense that you're still my little baby because in every other way, you're just so in dependant now. I love it when you lie down next to me and we play the name-that-body-part game. I love the way you laugh when we get to "armpit" or "thumbs" because for some reason you think thumbs are hilarious. Just another example of how you never fail to amaze me every single day.

I want to thank you, for all the unconditional love you've given me. For all the smiles, laughter, hugs and kisses. For being different because life would be so much less interesting if you weren't.

Words just can't express how much I love you, Dina Yasmin. But I thank Allah for each and every day I have to show you.

Happy third birthday, my Beautiful.

Love, ibu.

An Update

Sorry for the long silence. It's been....tough. There have been many happy moments since my last update but everytime I sat down to write a new post, the unhappy feelings came flooding back.

I have lots to update the Internet about. Dina's birthday note (it's been pending for more than a month!! Unacceptable!!), our Raya pictures, our trip to the Melaka Zoo (hubby and I are such amateurs).

I'll write about these experiences soon, I promise.

Till, then, take care everybody.

Healing

I'm still on MC, eventhough technically I've run out of MCs for the year. So I guess that means my time off will be taken from my annual leave. But no worries, since I have tons of those.



The past 2 days have been spent over at the hospital. My gynae was surprised and saddened to hear about my miscarriage so she immediately wanted me to undergo a couple of tests, since her diagnosis for the miscarriage was yet another "chromosome abnormality".



So yesterday I spent the whole morning at the hospital. When they said they were going to do blood tests, they forgot to mention that I had to be there for 3 hours and they had to stick me with the needle 3 times!! I was starving by the time they had finished with me (since I was on a fasting diet and all I had to drink was glucose) so I went to Carrefore Subang for lunch. I was craving for some Fajitas over at Ayamas and was disappointed when I found out the restaurant had changed and they no longer served fajitas. Shucks!! Last2, makan kat food court jer. Hmmm...



Then I went over to Maybank to bank in the kids duit raya and hubby's and I ASB money. Luckily I went to the branch over at Tractor; not a lot of people were there and it only took me 15 minutes. It was raining by the time I had finished but I made a run for the car and got a little wet.



It was almost 3.30pm at that time so I decided to head home and see how the kids were doing. But when I got to my neighborhood, the rain had stopped, so I decided to go for a facial. Just one hour of bliss and pampering was enough to put me into a better mood.



I'm still waiting for the results on my blood and urine tests and I may still have to go for more tests; my gynae wanted to make sure both hubby and I were fit and ok for the next pregnancy. She did however caution me against getting pregnant at least for the next 2 months, which sucks because I just want to be pregnant right now so bad. But I have to do what's right and maybe I really should just chill and take it easy from now on.



Now if I can just talk hubby into taking the kids for a big holiday in December, just to get away from everything for a while. Hello, Sayang....how, can ah? :D



ps: To all those who called and smsed me to wish me well, thank you so much. Sorry I couldn't reply coz my simcard is on the brink. Thanks again.

Another Loss

So how has your raya been so far? For me, it's been a time of gaining and a time of lost.

What did I gain? I gained a few pounds, that's for sure. Days of eating ketupat, rendang, lontong and the usual raya entries have wreck havoc on my so-called diet. But who cares, it's raya!! I've also gained back a few relatives, both old and new. Congratulations to my cousin, Aisyah and her hubby, Faizal on the birth of their 1st baby girl, just 2 days before raya. May you both experience the joy of parenthood and good luck with getting any sleep the next 6 months!!

I've gained memories, pictures, experiences....so much during this raya season.

And I've also lost a baby.

*Sigh*

Yes, I wanted to announce some good news before raya but decided against it as it was still too early. Even in the office, only a handful of people knew about my pregnancy. In my family, I only told my hubby, the children, my mom and my sister-in-law.

I guess some part of me knew something was going to go wrong.

Here's what happened; I suffered a miscarriage on the 4th day of raya. I was nearly 9 weeks pregnant at the time.

It happened so suddenly and without warning. I woke up at 3am to go to the toilet and it just...came out.

The sack.

My baby.

I think I screamed. Or maybe I just groaned. But I know I cried. I remember feeling hot tears running down my face.

I woke up hubby and told him what had happened. He told me to go back to sleep and took care of the mess I had made in the toilet. I fell asleep in his arms, crying.

I woke up again at 6.30am and found that I had started to bleed out. Hubby took me to the hospital for a check-up. As we were at my uncle's house at Chaah, the nearest private hospital was the Pantai Medical Center in Batu Pahat. It was the longest one-hour ride I had ever taken.

After waiting for the doctor for nearly 2 hours, it was confirmed that my miscarriage was incomplete and I had to undergo a D&C to clean out my womb. Surprisingly I was calm before and after the procedure. The heaviness in my heart had made me numb from feeling anything.

I had wanted this pregnancy to be ok so much. When I started bleeding (more like spotting) 3 weeks before, I took precautions but because I hadn't started to feel any morning sickness, it was hard to limit my activities. I wasn't bleeding that much, and I experienced no stomach aches or things like that. When I went for a check-up just 2 days before raya, everything seemed ok. The baby was doing fine, its heartbeat was strong.

So what went wrong?

I could name so many factors leading to my miscarriage; stress, fasting, long travelling periods in the car, the bleeding. I think the fact that I wasn't having any morning sickness was also a sign on its own that something was wrong as I had severe MS during all 3 of my previous pregnancies. It hurts to think that this could have been prevented if I had taken more precautions.

Losing 2 babies in a year is really hard on my emotions. I feel like crying but I know that crying won't bring my unborn children back. Reliving the situation in my head also just gets me depressed.

I so wanted to be pregnant. I was so pleasantly surprised when the pregnancy result came back positive.

We're going to try again. Soon, I hope. And maybe this time, everything will work out. Kita hanya boleh merancang, Allah saja yang menentukan.

Ya Allah. Berikanlah aku kesabaran dan ketenteraman jiwa untuk menghadapi dugaan ini. Sesungguhnya segala rezeki itu datang dariMu, kepada Kau saja aku memohon, kepada kau aku berserah. Amin.

Malaysia Does History!!

Yesterday was a fine day for Malaysians when Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor became the first Malaysian to blast off into space.

Wow. Our very own Astronaut.

And on our 50th Merdeka year too.

What an achievement for our small country.

As we watched the launch from our TV set, my eyes filled up with happy tears. The girls were so excited to see the big flames coming out from the rocket and were intrigued when later they showed the astronauts floating around in zero gravity atmosphere.

As I look at my girls, a thought comes to my mind. Maybe they too will create history for Malaysia when they grow up. Perhaps they will be able to find a cure for cancer or AIDS. Perhaps they will write the next book sensation, like Harry Potter. Maybe they'll be the first Malaysians to walk on Mars.

With this history making event, who knows what the future holds for the children of Malaysia.

My prayers go out to Dr Sheikh Muszaphar. Semoga selamat pergi dan selamat pulang. You've done your country proud!!

MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!

Selamat Hari Raya!!

I still owe Dina her 3rd Birthday Note, which I have written halfway but still haven't downloaded the pictures to go along (excuses, excuses). Hopefully I'll get it all done before we all go off for raya holidays, which is this coming Saturday.

Raya!! Yeah. Well, not so much for me. Getting old somehow means raya doesn't hold the same kind of excitement as it did when I was a kid. Maybe because now I have to give out the angpows instead of getting them. Haha. I didn't even buy any new clothes or shoes or handbags or even kuih raya for that matter. So no need to come to my house for open house kay, coz I have NADA to offer. Huh. Fortunately my MIL made one baju kurung for me and the girls and my mom bought a few gowns (for the girls only). So at least during the first day of raya, we'll all be wearing something new, with the exception of hubby. Baju tahun lepas pun pakai sekali jer.

So what's our plan for raya this year? This year, KL will be our first station, mainly my grandma's house. Then in the afternoon, maybe after Asar, we'll head off to Melaka. Probably stay there for a few days then head off to Segamat to see my other grandma. Then maybe we'll head back to Melaka and then back to KL. Not much travelling, thank god, coz fortunately hubby's kampung and mine are not that far from each other (Muar & Segamat).

The office is so quiet now, a lot of people have already gone off for their raya holiday. I'll still be in the office tomorrow, only taking Friday off because we were forced to.

So anyway, here's to all Muslims around the world. Happy Raya Aidilfitri. For those going back home, please take care on the road. Let's not any of us end up being part of a statistic this raya season. For those who are having open house, heheheh, tak nak ajak kita mai melawat ke?

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI. MAAF ZAHIR BATIN.