Monday, February 21, 2005

My Dream Job

Thanks to MyMomsBest, I now have a great support group for mothers and mothers-to-be. Check out the link under Mummy Links on the right. Thanks to this site also, I’ve made some new friends, even if we only meet online.:D

Its funny how reading through all the comments of all the mothers at this site, how passionate some people are about their children and breastfeeding and being pregnant. Well, maybe not funny ha-ha, but funny in the way somehow I find myself becoming that kind of person more and more.

Remember when we were in school and we had to fill out those forms that asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up? I remember writing down the usual suspects; doctor, teacher, lawyer, architect, postman (huh??). When I was in form 3, my ambition was to be a politician, or rather the Prime Minister. I was that ambitious. I remember telling my friends I would never get married and have kids coz I would be too busy being a careerwoman, to be jetsetting around the world, going for meeting and making tons of money.

Fast forward 15 years later and look where I am. Sure, I’m a careerwoman but nowadays I find myself wishing I could afford not to be.

I wish I had the luxury of not having to wake up in the morning and get ready for work.

I wish I had the luxury of staying at home and taking care of my children.

But I know I can’t. It’s not only the money factor, it’s because I know I would never survive staying at home 24/7. As much as I love the kids, staying at home 24/7 would drive me nuts.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been programmed in some way, that when things slow down for me, I feel like my brain cells are dying one by one. Maybe I’m just being so freaking analytical of the situation.

Even on Saturdays, which are usually my springcleaning days, I find myself drawing up a schedule the night before in my head.

8.00am – wake up
8.10am – make bed
8.30am – hang out clothes to dry
8.40am – sweep upstairs
9.00am – mop upstairs
9.30am – clean bathrooms
10.00am – check up on kids, breastfeed dina, etc

From then onwards, it’s read the newspaper, surf online, watch pathetic reruns on tv, nap, eat, yada yada yada...

If for some reason, my schedule goes awry, my whole day is slightly ruined. Then I fret that I didn’t mop the floor this week or that the bathrooms didn’t get washed or the kids aren't . Something inside me just snaps; on Saturday I just have to become Supermom.

But then my hubby reminds me, just being there at home with the kids, playing with them, giving them the hugs and kisses that they need and thrive on, is super enough. The house doesn’t always have to be spick and span; lunch doesn’t always have to be homemade.

That’s when I take a deep breath and realize I may already have the dream job I want. It may not pay much and it sure does take a lot out of you and sometimes you don’t get any gratitude for all your hard work. It may not promise me a company car or a corner office with a view. Then when my daughter Dania comes up to me and gives me a big hug or when Dina gives me a huge gummy grin, it sure does make everything seem all worth while.

Being a mom is truly one of the best jobs in the world.

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku bersyukur atas rezekiMu. Berkatilah keluargaku, lindungilah kami dunia dan akhirat Amin.


5xmom said...

I am blogging about being SAHM soon. Watch out for it. I hope it made both moms, WM, SAHM feel good.

Along said...

Hi Lilian (yes I know it's you, I read YOUR blog everyday).:D

I'm thinking maybe in 5 years time, when all my ambitions to be a careerwomen has run its toll, I would love to be a SAHM.

Let me know when your post on SAHM is up. And thanks for dropping by.

Krissy said...

I'm fairly anti-SAHM, simply because someone with a gap in their resume is less employable and none of us gets a guarantee that our co-parents will always be around.

I don't think it's a waste of time or easy or lazy, I just think it's irrisponsible. Now, if you're volunteering or going to school, that can be something that you can put on a resume that will keep you employable.

Part of having kids is 1) having few enough so that on your own you can feed, clothe and house them and 2) making sure that you're marketable enough that in case a spouse's income is suddenly gone you can still feed and clothe and house them.

That doesn't mean feeding and clothing and housing in the same fashion they are used to. If you sell the house and move into a condo, or go from fancy meals to chef boyardee, that's all good. Clothes from Gap Kids or clothes from Target are still clothes.

I watched my mother get creative on her resume to get a job after my dad left. That job paid around 20K. She made that be enough for us to live on, but that's because she's a kickass woman and because I was an only. If I had had siblings or they had not hired her, we'd have been sunk.

I don't ever want to look at my kids and tell them that because daddy died we now have no money to live.

Remain employable. That's the watchword. And in the US the market is competitive enough that for any family-sustaining job, you'll get passed over if you've been a SAHM.

Having said all that, Andy and I are trying to win the lottery so that we can be independently wealthy, have 9 kids and both only work and go to school when we want to. Oh, and hire someone to keep the house spotless and cook, because I'm really only interested in the baby-snuggling part of SAHMing.

Krissy said...


And I had a breast reduction when I was 17 and could only give Charlie a few ounces of breastmilk a day until he was 2 months old. And I'm pleased to have given that much.

I know so many moms who are depressed and miserable breastfeeding. So many who need to go on medication or are in pain or just hate themselves and their lives while doing it.

I fully agree that breast is best. But the second choice isn't strychnine, at least in the US. The formula is just fine. As evidenced by my healthy, huge and intelligent baby boy.

I don't have a problem encouraging women to breast feed, but I have a problem with the implication that those of us who don't are abusing our kids.

It's another loaded issue that people seem to get really defensive about, one way or the other, you know?

Along said...

I guess it's to each her own. I agree with Krissy that if anything were to happen to my hubby, I would still be able to sustain my family's current lifestyle. OK, maybe I'll have to cut down on clothes shopping for myself but the main point is the kids would still be fed and clothed. Bills would still get paid on time. And I'm lucky that my parents live close by so help is always available.

Krissy, don't despair about the breastfeeding issue. We do what we can for our children. As mothers, we would only want the best for them. I'm still struggling with breastfeeding my second daughter coz working the hours I do, sometimes it hard to find even 20 minutes to pump. But I take it day by day. I tell myself eventhough my breast milk might run out, my love for my daughters never will.