Solomon Kane - Review

Alert: This post may contain spoilers about the movie. Oh, who am I kidding..I’m going to be telling you everything I can remember so if you want to watch this movie and still be surprised, do not read this post. You have been warned!

While we were at Genting, we took some time to family bond over a movie. Initially we wanted to see Alice but it wasn’t shown in 3D, so Angah opted for us to watch Solomon Kane instead.
Now, don’t ask me about the book; there is no book. The dude (Solomon Kane) is a comic book character and those who know me, know I don’t do comics.

OK, before I begin, just let me say this. I had no idea what the movie was about but I was thinking it was probably dark coz the poster showed this figure of a looming man, complete with wide brimmed hat and sinister looks. However, I did not expect to be exposed to one of my greatest fear……

ZOMBIES!!!

Freaking zombies!! Oh my feeble heart cannot take zombies, especially if they’re super hungry and super fast and super strong and super intent on ripping out and feeding on human flesh. I freaked out watching I Am Legend (yes, I know, the whole movie is centered on zombies but I didn’t know that when I walked into the cinema) so naturally those scenes with the zombies found me clutching hubby’s arm, closing my eyes and whispering “damn, freaking zombies, damn, freaking zombies” again and again.

Ok, so now I’ve got my grouse about the zombies out of the way, let’s talk more about the movie. The main character is played by James Purefoy, who I’ve never heard of. Apparently he was in A Knight’s Tale and Resident Evil but I can’t recall seeing him. As the anti-hero Solomon Kane (SK), he was very good at delivering the emotions the character went through from arrogance, fear, helplessness, anger and so on. Sure, the dialog was a little monotonous but I’m glad they didn’t squeeze in any one-liners coz that would have totally killed the seriousness of the movie.

The cinema hall was freaking cold so it didn’t help that in nearly all the scenes, it was either raining or snowing. The movie must have some hefty dry cleaning bills!! The only scenes that would be considered “beautiful” was when SK was on his journey back home, walking amongst forests, hills and mountain sides.

The supporting characters were rather good, especially the family of puritans travelling to the New World. Max von Sydow who plays SK’s father also stole the limelight in his short scenes. The villain on the other hand was rather….lame. Claiming to be so powerful, it only took a single bullet for SK to kill him. Plus the CGI demon in the end…yeah, could have done without that.
The storyline is heavy not only with Christianity themes but also wizardry and demons. Oya, other than freaking demons, they also had a freaking witch but this was no ordinary witch. No, this biyatch could camouflage herself as an unassuming little girl and then turn into an ugly old woman, who can fly without needing a broomstick and mark you with her fingernails. Creepy!
Yep, this movie was rather creepy, in my opinion. There were some cheap thrills but overall, the scares were very good. Especially the opening scene where SK’s men get eaten by mirror demons. Hmmm, you’ll just have to watch the movie to find out what I mean. Oya, and the ZOMBIE part. *Shudder*.

Would I recommend you to watch this? Well, seeing how it wasn’t really my cup of tea, plus it had freaking ZOMBIES in it, I can’t say I would watch it again. They could have done with a better villain plus the end of the movie felt as if the director just ran out of steam (or money). If you’re into medieval period movies or stuff like Highlander, then maybe this is the movie for you. But if you’re a pure chick flick type of person, stay away from this movie. You might get ZOMBIE nightmares like I do.