Aspire...I think not

We’ve been asked to do our Career Profile for our new CEO coz apparently reading what your employees aspire for the company is much easier than hearing them bullshit it to your face.

In it, there’s a column that asks for our “Personal Aspirations.”

I have no idea what to put there.

5 years at this joint and all my aspirations have been sucked dry. I’m just hanging on the edge of my fingertips for the next 5 years so I can quit without half a million ringgit worth of debts on my head and start up my own business or better yet sit on my fat ass at home and channel surf with the kids.

Side note: My ass is not fat. OK, not THAT fat.

So I’m staring at the computer screen, drumming my fingers at what to type.

What I REALLY want to type is as follows:

PERSONAL ASPIRATIONS.

1. To compete in the next Miss Universe and win the Miss Congeniality award.
2. To win a million dollars or a new house/car/facial wash.
3. To be able to get over my obsessions with MPVs. Seriously, it’s just killing me right now.
4. To be able to apply make up in 5 minutes flat and have it last all day long. No shiny clown-like noses by lunchtime.
5. To be able to make it through the day without yelling at the kids for being just kids.
6. To travel to Paris and spit from the top of Eiffel Tower.
7. To meet Raul Gonzales in person.
8. To be good at one musical instrument. And the triangle or the bloody cymbals doesn’t count.
9. To travel to a poor 3rd World Country and adopt a child.
10. To be the best daughter, sister, wife and mother I can possibly be.

I wonder...would they give me a raise or fire me if I wrote all that?