Friday, August 15, 2008


6 hours and 11 minutes until hubby comes home from Aussie.

OK, so he'll be here for only 18 hours and 20 minutes until his next trip to Europe but seeing him after 7 days apart even if for only a few hours will be like heaven.

Yes, I miss my husband madly. I mean, what wife (in a normal loving relationship) wouldn't, right?

I've always thought myself as a self sufficient kind of woman. I take pride that I have a good education, have a career, have my own money. I don't need a man to take care of myself financially.

I know how to change a car tyre. I know how to pump petrol into my car. I know when to fill up the tyres with air. I know how to work with a screwdriver. I can do basic maintenance around the house (the fact that I don't have the time is another matter).

I have a great family (well, some of them are ok...the rest, eh...material for another blog entry). I don't have a lot of friends but the ones that I'm close with (real and virtual) are awesome.

Yes, that would mean you...and you.

If push came to shove, I could probably live a good life, just me and the girls.

But it would be lonely. Really lonely.

I wouldn't have someone to discuss the girls with. Someone to help discipline them. Someone to help sooth their tears. Someone to watch them grow up with.

I wouldn't have someone to tell my plans, my goals, my dreams, my fears. Someone to hold when words aren't sufficient or needed. Someone to plan holidays with and someone to blame when things don't go according to plan (heee).

I would still be me, just not so whole.

I'm a "single mother" for only 3 weeks. That's 3 weeks to long for me.

So this post goes out to all the single moms in the world. I salute you for your strength and perseverance.

*Just saw this documentary about this single mom with 4 kids, two of them are mentally disabled and she likes has to work 3 (three!!) jobs just to put food on the table. Meleleh jugak air mata aku menengoknya. Aku Alhamdullilah, anak2 aku semua sihat mental dan fizikal. Itupun kekadang aku pening dan malas jugak nak jaga dan layan. Lepas ni kena taubat, have to be a better mom.

**Why the topic Reflection? Because of what I saw and what I've observed from other people, I always have to pause and reflect on my life...and realise that I have it really good...even, make that, especially when I feel like whining about stupid things.


lonely Z said...

yes. the most difficult is not having someone to listen to me whine about everything. xde org nak dengar aku merapu, x de org nak layan aku gelak gile sampai nak pecah perut. xde org nak layan soklan2 aku nak pakai baju kaler ape, tudung kaler ape, xde org nak cerita what's on news today, x de org nak share my fears, my anger and it is so damn lonely. nak sasau aku!

Anonymous said...

what, you're mandom at about the same time i was? heheh..

imagine shu at home with 2 boys every weekdays heheh..

but loneliness is a killer, even for the husband-father :P

Heather said...

I'm sure he appreciates the fact that you'd rather have him around than not! =)

dillazag said...

beb, i totally feel ya..
aku ni nampak je brutal... tapi, hati lembut juga ada... heh heh heh