He's the ONE for me

A friend of mine recently asked me, how do you know when the person you’re with is THE ONE?

I was stumped. I could have given her the usual lecture of how you feel butterflies in your stomach every time you see him or how you wake up each morning and he’s the first thing on your mind. I could have, but I didn’t.

Because it wasn’t like that in my case.

If ever I had butterflies in my stomach, it was probably due to eating too much. Or if I woke up thinking about my husband (then boyfriend), it would be coz he owed me money or I owed him.

I know of some people who met, fell in love and got married all in the span of 3 months. I know of people who dated for 8 years yet ended up marrying different people. I know of one person who had never met her husband until the day of their Nikah. And now they’re expecting their fourth child together.

I’ve known my husband for 10 years now. He’s been my friend for 2 years, my lover for 4, my fiancée for 7 months and now my husband for 3 years. We’ve been through happy times and sad times. We’ve fought and made up. In three years of marriage, we now have 2 daughters, a fully paid car, a house and an apartment to rent. Some people would think we have it made. I would very much like to think so too.

My husband wasn’t my first boyfriend, but he was the first person I dated that I knew I could marry. Reason being...I would have to out it down to timing. I was 20 when we started dating. I had already been in countless relationships and had had my heart broken many times. I was ready for a serious relationship, no more puppy/donkey/monkey love for me.

I remember drawing up a list with my friends on the criteria of our dream guys. Mine would have to be tall, handsome, lean, a good cook, loves massaging, wealthy, funny and a romantic. My hubby’s handsome and somewhat funny, but he rates 4/10 in the other categories. Ok, so he can scramble an egg but only in desperate measures. And he grumbles when I ask for a massage. As for romantic, well, he did surprise me with a diamond ring our last anniversary, but surprises like those are far and between.

So why did I marry him?

Because he’s kind.

Because I saw how he treated his younger cousins with love and knew that I wanted this man to treat my children the same way.

Because he let me win at pool, even though he’s better and I was having a fever at the time.

Because whenever we fought, I felt like throwing him out a window. But I also knew that if I did, I would also run down to catch him and break his fall.

Because he listened to all my whims and accepted me for all my faults.

Because he was brave enough to meet my parents and to take me to see his.

Because it was Allah’s will.

So, basically Farr, I have no answer to your question. But you do have my prayers that you find your ONE just as I found mine.