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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

I Say a Prayer

So I’m in front of the computer, waiting for hubby to get back from mother-in-law’s place. Dina and Nisa are safe in Melaka. God damn it, but I miss my baby so much already. It’s her feeding time and my breasts are telling me so. Dania is asleep, despite all her best efforts to stay awake until morning. The bags are packed, ready for our trip tomorrow.

So I’m flicking through the channels, watching reruns of friends and other mundane night shows. I flip through the photo albums and pause at Dina’s pictures.

She’s been gone for 4 hours. It feels like 4 weeks.

This is truly one of my worst nightmares. Not having my baby with me, close by.

Not being able to hold her, kiss her and smell her hair.

I know, this is just until Monday. Some mommies feel like this indefinitely.



I say a prayer, please don’t let me be one of those mommies.

9 comments:

mummydarling said...

along, at times like these just remember one thing: i'm sacrificing my life because I love my company.. :)

but seriously, i don't want to be in your shoes. it breaks my heart every day when my darling cries whenever i leave him at the day care, inikan pulak nak tinggalkan for more than 1/2 a day!

just remember that she is in good hands. all is well. and you'll be with your baby in no time.

Anonymous said...

Nak kirim gelang mutiara dua, yg murah punye cukup la..
nak yg pinkish & blackish
I'll bank in the payment ok tak?

-Nani dtg from Sput's Succinctement-

ibuVouge said...

yup..I'm have been feel like u feel bfore, esp when thighten by the work
on that time I wish to leave work , going back home and hug angel..

Jaan said...

Some kids also feel the smae being away from their mommies.

Shamira said...

Have felt like this so many times. Why do we have to go through these feelings? Why cant we just be with our loved ones all the time, specially our babies. Yes, they will always be our baby no matter how old there are. This is part andf parcel of being a working mom and part of life I suppose.

I always tell myself, that compared to many other sacrifices that many other mothers have made and many tribulations that many go through, I have been blessed and I guesss so have you. Thats another way of looking at it .

Krissy said...

Along,

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. It sounds like you feel just awful.

Please remember that as crazy as this is, it's a good thing. It's important for mommies and daddies to be able to have time away from their kids, and it's important for babies to know that mommies and daddies go away, but that THEY COME BACK.

I hope it feels like no time before she's back in your arms, and just remember that whether you miss her constantly, or even occasionally forget to miss her, your feelings about it aren't any indication of how much you love her, which is never in question.

Try and give yourself permission to enjoy the time away for what it's worth, and don't beat yourself up if you don't enjoy it at all.

We were supposed to go away for a weekend for our anniversary and we canceled and took Charlie to the zoo instead. I absolutely hear where you're coming from.

Hang in there.

Joe said...

sebab tu la kene ada minimum 2 anak.. bila satu tinggal kat rumah atok, satu lagi ada dengan kau. lagi bagus, 3 anak. satu tinggal atok blah bapak, satu tinggal kat atok blah mak. satu lagi, kau boleh simpan. heheh...

Along said...

meowmeow: I love my company? Hehehe..yeah, what we sometimes go thru for the company. Hope its all worth it.

Nani: Sorry, didn't check my blog until I had come back. Maybe next time when I go again, I'll buy you the gelang mutiara.

Ibuvogue: Same here, same here.

Jaan: Yes, I think so too. My angel did have trouble sleeping the first night we were apart.

Shamira: Yes, in a perfect world, we wouldn't have to work and be apart from our babies. Luckily for me, weekend/outstation work doesn't happen all that often.

Krissy: Such wise words. Thank you very much.

Joe: Aku nak ada 5. Dua lagi tumpang rumah ko, boleh?

Anonymous said...

Along, it's OK.. skrg ni dah terrrrbeli lebih gelang masa Thai fair kat Pyramid theheh :))

-Nani-