Monday, January 10, 2005

The Weirdest Dream Yet...

Today is not a good day. For one thing, the kids are still sick. Dania has a full blown coughing spell. At least her fever has gone down a bit but she still won’t eat anything. Dina has a bit of the sniffles, and she started coughing this morning. Alahai....

Add to my misery the fact I woke up this morning with a sore neck. I cannot turn my head to the left or up. My shoulder blades are killing me. Brushing my teeth, I had to move my head instead of my arms. I looked ridiculous. But being the whipped employee I am, I still dragged my butt to work.


I had a very strange dream last night. I must type fast coz details of the dream are beginning to get fuzzy. In the beginning of the dream, for some reason I’m living with my x-roomies from university.

And I’m divorced from hubby. For this reason let’s call him Mr. X.

I don’t know the reason for our divorce but apparently we’re still good friends. The kids are staying with him. I get them every weekend. (Is that a sign that he’s a better parent than me?)

Anyhow, apparently I’m now married to Mr. A, which is weird coz for the love of god, I can’t remember his real name. Mr. A was a scholar from my batch. I can see his face but that’s it. I know I was never close to him. Why I should be married to him is a mystery.

But it gets better. Mr. A and I are not living together. In fact, we haven’t been together for a year. That’s right, I’m married but I’m not getting any action. At least not from him.

Maybe that’s the reason I’m getting married to Mr. H. Yes, yes, it’s getting confusing but this is where the dream gets interesting. Mr. H was my junior during University days. He’s nice but definitely not someone I can see myself marrying.

Anyhow, It’s the day of my wedding and for some reason I forgot. Confused? It seems that a few weeks ago, Mr. H and I were talking and I had gotten all sob sob on him, and in my desperate state had asked him to marry me. It was supposed to be a joke but evidently Mr. H took it seriously.

So here I am, on my bed, starring up at my wedding gown that had magically appeared. My roommate comes into my room.

Long, apa tak siap lagi? Kompang dah nak start dah.

I stare at her and think "Crikey!! I really am getting married again. I forgot to tell my mom. No one in my family knows about this!!"

Just then it hits me...I can’t get married to Mr. H. I’m still married to Mr. A!!! I forgot to ask for a divorce!!

Frantic, I search my handphone for Mr. A’s number. Being it a year since we last met, he’s either changed it or is not picking up. I call up Mr. X.

Bang, do you have A’s number tak? I need it now...emergency!!

Why? What happened?

Long story short, I’m getting married to Mr. H today and I need to get Mr. A to divorce me first. I tried calling his old number but he’s not picking up.

Sorry long. Can’t help you there. Try calling someone else. Oh, BTW, congratulations...again.

Ok, thanks for nothing.

I turn around and see my roommate looking at me.

Liza, ko ada nombo Mr. A tak? Kalau kita kena cerai through telepon, still boleh pakaikan? I mean, nowadays people get divorced thru sms lagi..kan?

Liza keeps on starring at me.

You know long, even if you got Mr. A to divorce you thru the phone, you still couldn’t get married today. You have to go thru eddah first lah.

Eh, in my case got no eddah lah. I haven’t had sex with Mr. A for a year!!

At that point, I hear the doorbell. It’s my mom. She comes bearing a makeup kit and my old wedding shoes. For someone whose daughter is about to get married for the third time without her knowledge, she seems utterly calm.

Mr. X called and told me what happened. You’ll need some blush and eye shadow. You look tired.

I begin to panic. I can hear the kompang people gearing up. Did I tell you Mr. H lives just 3 houses away from mine? So no chance of me sneaking out.

Liza, kalau aku hantar sms kat Mr. H, bagitau dia kita kawin lain hari ok tak?

Eh, ko jangan nak pull stunt like Hasmawi tu. Bikin malu member jer.

The doorbell rings again. It’s Mr. H and he’s looking troubled. He sees me and pulls me to the living room.

Blum siap lagi?

Errr...ibu just came with my shoes. I can get ready in like 10 minutes.

I have something to confess. We can’t get married today.

As my head starts spinning, I listen to Mr. H telling me why. It seems that last night Mr. H was out on the town celebrating with some friends. Some kind of ala bachelor party le kot. Anyhow, despite the fact none of them were drinking, they had somehow gotten into an accident. The man they ran over is now in the hospital, in critical condition.

So you see long, I have to take care of this case first, have to go to court and everything. My lawyer says everything should be ok, coz we have eye witnesses who said the man walked in front of our car. But getting married today is not such a good idea.

I stroke Mr. H’s face to comfort him. He is kind of cute so I give him a little kiss. Which then progresses into a hubba-hubba turn-me-on French kiss. OoooKaaayyy, now I see why I’m marrying this guy. I don’t need sex to have an orgasm; he just has to kiss me.

Hahaha..ok, ok. I’m getting a little PG-SX here but at the end of the dream, I find out that the man that got run over was actually Mr. A. And he dies in the end. Mr. H has a breakdown from guilt. Mr. X remarries to a Delta Air stewardess.

So, I’m left all alone. No Mr. X, no Mr. A, no Mr. H. wonder I woke up with a sore neck. Mimpi heavy duty habis!!


azrin said...

yang dikejar tak dapat,
yang dikendong berciciran...

haa, tulaa, anti filem melayu sangat sampai mimpi drama melayu!!! =)

Anonymous said...

woi woii...pesal aku terbabit dgn wet dream ko nih..wakakakaka...sapa H tu..ehmmm..lain kali nak tido basuh kaki la, takpun mandi teruss


Along said...

Liza, manade wet dream. Aku pun tak tau apehal le aku pi mimpi camtu. Dah basuh kaki dah, sebelum tido aku solat Isyak lagi.

H tu sapo?..hehehehe...teka ah..

linzulkif said...

haha... lawak la long citer ko..
aku rasa aku tau sape H tu... :P

Along said...

ye ke lin?..heheh..teka ah..kalau betul aku bagi hadiah..tepukan paling gemuruh sekali