Oh No!!

Arghhhh.....I wrote too soon. Today is a total relapse. Vomititis galore!! And I thought the worst was over. Had to log on to let my colleague know because my phone got barred. Grrr...

Now please excuse me while I take a short nap. My head is spinning again...

Better

Heee, I didn’t expect other people to be more pissed off about Anonymous comment than I was. In the years that I’ve been blogging, if there’s one thing I’ve learned is that what I write is what I feel at that time and like any other stuff put out into the public domain, is open to critics and comments. I can’t stop people from saying what they say but I can control how I want to feel about it. I find the best way to handle stuff like that is to take everything with a pinch of humor (as Anonymous should have with my post) and let it roll off my back. The younger-me maybe would have lost sleep over it but the now-me just can’t be bothered. Life is too short to nit and pick at every single bad thing that come my way.

But I really must give a huge shout out to all my friends who did come to my defense via email and YM. In a weird way, I guess I owe thanks to Anonymous too, coz your comment did not hurt me as maybe intended but actually brought out my true friends to my side.

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And more good news....I think my MS is started to subside..FINALLY!! Eating is no longer as torturous as it was before, though keeping the food down is still a battle sometimes. I’m no longer nauseous 24/7 (it comes in waves instead of constant all the time) but certain smells and sights do still bring me down. Mornings are still a bit iffy for me but I find once I’ve gotten over the initial fatigue feeling and get my ass moving, I can make it through the day. Fainting spells also haven’t happened since last week so hopefully none of that anymore. I still get tired easily but fortunately my boss has been very lenient on the amount of workload I have.

I still have insomnia which may be the cause for my tiredness in the morning but so far remedies like reading a book, watching TV and drinking hot chocolate hasn’t worked for me. My doctor refuses to give me any sleeping pills seeing how drugged up I already am so bedtime has been a bit frustrating. Now that I’ve started work again, I don’t take any afternoon naps. By right, I SHOULD be tired at night but sometimes I find myself blinking away even at 3am. Hubby says it’s because I’ve been thinking about so many things lately; work, being sick, the kids, etc. I dunno…maybe, but I wish I could sleep better. If anyone has any suggestions, I’m all ears (or more eyes in this case).

But overall, I’m doing much better. Not 100% as I would like to be but at least I can function somewhat. Hopefully the time will come when I can truly start to enjoy this pregnancy and not associate it with being sick or HG.

Why I Hate Coming To Work

1. Getting up in the morning is such a battle and going to the toilet always induces a gag fest.

2. The recent fainting spells have me a bit scared, thus driving has to be done slowly.

3. My skin is already paper dry; the aircon in the office isn’t making it any better.

4. EVERYONE WEARS PERFUME!!!

5. When people ask me how I’m feeling, I don’t know whether to puke in front of them, smile or punch them in the face. All 3 choices take too much energy.

6. People talk about what they’re going to have for lunch AN HOUR before lunch time. Even listening make me want to vomit.

7. The ride on the lift is torture, whether or not there are other people in it. Never knew small spaces could hold BO for so long.

8. All the other pregnant women in the office are actually happy and enjoying their pregnancy and their only concern is how much weight they’ve gained. Damn fluffies!!!!

What's It To Ya?

Wow, I really wasn't expecting that last comment on my previous post. A bit harsh, I must say.

Believe me, I've asked that question myself. Why am I pregnant again? I can give 2 good reasons why...my 2 beautiful girls.

I suffered 4 months of chronic MS with Dania and 7 (seven!!) months with Dina. But now, years have gone by and I can tell you all that suffering is a distant memory. Whatever I went through is so worth it.

But you know what, I don't need to justify my condition to anyone, much less Anonymous. So what if I'm going through my own personnel hell right now. So what if my maid is doing all the chores in the house? That's what I'm paying her for!! As for that last comment, maybe Anonymous was talking from experience.

So whatever. Lantak le orang nak cakap apa. I'm just gonna concentrate in getting better.

Resting

I admitted myself to the hospital last Friday because I was getting more dehydrated by the day. Sucking on apples wasn't cutting it; my skin was already paper dry and I even had trouble catching a breath. I decided getting an IV drip would be my best bet, at least it would provide me the fluids I desperately needed.

I managed to drive myself slowly to the hospital because hubby was late coming home. Admission wasn't that hard and the nurses were very nice. They had a problem trying to put in the IV because my veins had shrunk. The doctor had to put the drip on slo-mo because too fast a drip hurt like shit.

All in all, I spent the entire weekend in the hospital and to tell the truth, I'm kind of glad I did. The IV really helped. The food sucked though but with hospital food, you can't expect 5 star hotel cuisine.

So now I'm resting at home. My doctor gave me 2 weeks of MC and eventhough I'm bored out of my mind, I really need this time to rest. I just can't think about anything else right now; not work, not the spa, not hubby, not even the girls.

If there's one thing (or rather person) that's really helping me with everything, it's got to be my new maid. She is just heaven sent!!! Since the first day she arrived, she just bonded with the girls and took over all the chores. Plus she cooks!! I love her.

I'm praying everyday that my MS goes away soon. I'm sick of feeling sick everyday. I know hubby's sick of it already. I think because when he goes to work, I'm still sleeping and when he gets back, I'm slumped in front of the TV, he thinks I'm having the time of my life. Truth is, half the time, I'm not even watching the TV, more like seeing through it. In my mind is that little voice constantly telling me "do not vomit, do not vomit." Eventhough I tell it to shut up, I just can;t get it out of my head. So I use the TV, the Internet, or even the girls to distract me. Grrrr...