Bad Parenting..and How You Can Make A Dfference.

This picture was taken on my way home from the office, I can’t really remember when. I took it because I wanted to write a post on responsible parenting and though I could use this as an example.

You see the mother right? She has her helmet on, and I suppose the dad does too. But what about the little kid? Not only does he not have a helmet on, he’s been carried in a very dangerous way. Now I know not everyone can afford to buy cars, and sometimes those who do have cars, don’t buy child seats for their kids. Maybe this is the case. However, the parents still could have taken a few precaution steps for the kid, just in case old daddy-o accidentally hit a pothole or a wet patch in the road.

First, the kid should be wearing a helmet. No buts about it. How much does a child helmet cost anyway? Probably not as much as your kid’s life, right? This should be a no-brainer, no matter how far or how near you’re taking the kid. Accidents can happen within 20 meters of your own home. How sad would you be if something was to happen and your kid could have survived head injuries, only if he or she were wearing a helmet?

Secondly, if the kid is below two years old, or small enough, strap him/her to your body using a baby carrier or even a sarong would do. This would prevent the kid from squirming too much and would also help you have a better grip on the child. Look again at the picture; all it takes is a small pebble in the road and dad could have lost control. You think mom would be able to hold on to her child? Most probably the kid would be thrown from his mother’s arms onto the pavement or god forbid, into traffic.

We as parents, we always want our kids to be safe. We tell them, don’t climb trees or you’ll fall and break your legs. We tell them, don’t play in the roads or you’ll get hit by a car. But when it comes to situations like these, situation where we can make a choice, we choose to put our kid’s life in danger. Why is that? Do we really have to see a kid’s brain splattered all over the road on the 8 o’clock news before we take precautionary steps? Why are we such a society that takes passive action, bak kata orang “Sudah terketuk, baru terngadah”?

This is just one example of bad parenting. There are more below. Remember, I’m not dissing on the parents but more on their actions.

Another example would be taking young children to a fancy restaurant. Now I’m all for family gatherings and family meals and what not. We do it all the time. However, if you take your child to a fancy restaurant, please be prepared with a course of action if the kid decides to scream his/her head of during dinner. This is out of respect for the other customers; no one wants to spend RM150 or more having dinner with Junior screaming in their ear. Bring a bottle or some toys for the kid to distract them from boring dinner talk. If everything else fails, LEAVE! Do not let your kids scream and throw cutlery at people or run around the restaurant like a shrieking banshee. Believe me, I’ve seen it happen. I’m appalled at parents who would allow their kids to act that way. My kids are no angels, and there have been times when hubby and I have had to leave the restaurant because of the kids acting up. But they are kids!!! We are the adults, the ones who have the power to make a choice in these situations. Usually when this happen (thank god, not that often) we just ask the server to wrap our food while one of us takes the kids outside for a cooling down session. Again, it all boils down to respect for others.

Another great example would be taking young children to the movies. This is another thing I don’t understand; kids already have very short attention spans, you expect them to sit down quietly to watch a 2 hour movie?!! I don’t care if it is The Care Bears Movie Special or Barbie and Ken Get Married Again. For starters, the cinema is cold and dark. Most kids hate places that are cold and dark. The surround sound is loud. I mean even I have trouble dealing with the loudness. So unless your kids are used to ear shattering sounds, chances are he/she won’t like the loud dialogues and music. I’ve seen parents who bring babies to the movies. Goodness, now you know the baby isn’t going to understand what going on anyway and the cold and loud sounds are only going to upset her. It’s understandable if she starts screaming her head off, but you as the parents should again, respect others and take the baby outside. Do not proceed to sit there and try to hush the baby up. Going to the movies has become such a harrowing experience already, what with the people in front of you being too tall, or the people next to you eating snacks none stop loudly or the people behind you, kicking your seat every 2 minutes. To add a screaming baby would just be too much. Hubby and I took Dania to her first movie when she was almost 4; we went to watch Narnia. Even then, we were prepared to leave the cinema if things got too much for her. We bought tickets for the last row, nearest to the exit. We bought popcorn for her and we brought her jacket, just in case it got cold. Fortunately for us, Dania enjoyed the movie but we were prepared to just forgo the entire thing if she hadn’t.

I could go on and on about bad parenting but its 6.30am and I haven’t done my Subuh prayers yet. I just hope whoever is reading this would next time take a minute to think about how their parenting may affect their kids and others around them. Till next time, take care.