A Rundown of the Grammies...of Some Sort.

I was partly watching the Grammies last night – partly, because I was channel flicking between Star World (which had the Grammies on) and Channel V (which had America’s Next Top Model). I tell you, I can’t get enough of Tyra Banks!! Anyway, they’re showing Season 4 over here and last night that spoilt brat, forever-whining-and-looking-for-a-fight Brandy got cut. Hubby was ecstatic.

So anyway, part of the Grammies that I missed was the opening, which had the Gorillaz and Madonna. Damn, I would have wanted to see that, especially since Madonna sang her highly contagious song, Hung Up. Can anyone sing (or dance) “Disco” better than the material girl? Believe me, I’ve tried and with my kids as my witnesses, it’s not easy at all. But nice if you want to look stupid and work up a sweat at the same time.

I missed out on Kelly Clarkson grabbing the first award for Best Female Vocal Performance, and also Coldplay’s performance of their latest single, Talk. Double Damn!! What the hell was I watching at the time? I have a feeling I was rocking out to the theme song of Jojo’s Circus, when I should have been rocking it out with Chris Martin and his very bad hairdo.

I missed out on John Legend (this is not much of a Grammies review, is it?) and also the country performance of Alison Krauss and that other country band..whatever the name is. The only country singers I know are Faith Hill, Shania Twain…and Dolly Parton. Ahaks!!

Thank god I caught U2 performing. “Vertigo” was electrifying to say the least. Then they had that song with Mary J. Blige, which had Uno, One, and other “one” on foreign languages plastered all over the big screens. I kept my eye out for “satu”, which is one in Malay but alas, I didn’t see any. Nice song though, even if Ms Mary kept jumping up and down like a rabbit on speed and kept interrupting Bono, who was trying to play the guitar, by grabbing his hand and raising it to the roof. Hahahah, kind of funny coz I think Bono looked a bit peeved.

Then were the nominations for Best Rap Album, presented by Matt Dillon and Ludacris. Matt Dillon looked a bit old to me. In my opinion, he should have stayed with Cameron Diaz, maybe then her happy and vibrant attitude could have rubbed on him and made him look younger. Kanye West won and tried…a little bit too hard, in my opinion, to pull of a few laughs by saying that he didn’t expect to win – only to pull out a huge sheet of paper that said “THANK YOU LIST” at the back of it. Seriously, you could have heard a pin drop with all the non-existing laughter that was there. Poor Kanye. Thank god you’re a singer, not a stand-up comedian.

Then there was Kelly Clarkson, who I though did one of the best performance that night. OK, so I missed quite a lot of them, but still her rendition of “Because of You” almost had me in tears. She also wore one of the best dresses out there, red and flowing. I had hoped the cameras would of focused a bit more on that little girl who was playing the piano coz I think it was the same girl that is featured in the music video.

Gwen looked spectacular in her leopard-print gown. Obviously being pregnant totally agrees with her. I hope I can look that radiant when I get pregnant next year. Ahaks, yeah right..what wishful thinking!!

Paul McCartney’s performance was ok although I hardly know any of the songs. It was energetic enough for a considerably old man.

What the hell was Jennifer Love Hewitt doing at the Grammies? And presenting an award with…The Black Eye Peas? Having all the members of BEP was crowded enough so putting Ms Hewitt there was really out of place. I bet she did it for the goody bags. And her gown…girl, you need to realize, your bust size isn’t that big. Sagging breasts do not equal sexy. And those bangs…sheesh, she looked much better when she was humping Carson Daly. And that’s not saying much.

Mariah Carey. Hmmm…her performance was ok, but I think I heard her voice crack a few places. Plus, she was jumping all around the stage like a rabid dog. Her gown was tasteful for a chance and her hair…was it her real hair? Lovely!! Almost makes me not want to cut my own.

Kelly Clarkson won again, this time for Best Pop Vocal. She beat out Gwen!! I love this girl; talented, beautiful and so down-to-earth.

I missed out on the next couple of performances but managed to catch the tribute to Sly Stone. What a wreck!! Fantasia was disappointing, to say the least. She was gasping around like a fish out of water. Totally distracting. And Ciara? Girl, those long, slim legs can’t save you from a disastrous performance. Horrific vocals. Even Devin from that now-kaput boy band, LFO, featured better. Urghhh…

Linkin’ Park with Jay-Z was rocking!! And that guy from Linkin’ Park, the one with the high vocals, looked fiiinnneee!! All dressed up in dapper suits…smoking!!! The song collaboration with Paul McCartney also was a nice one.

I missed part of Bruce Springsteen and also Destiny’s Child award presentation to U2. I saw a little bit of Kanye West’s performance but rap music gives me a headache, unless it’s from Eminem. I missed out on Cristina’s performance too but saw U2 pick up the awards for Best Album. I really thought they were going to announce Mariah as the winner but instead a bunch of rocking 40 year olds won. Hehehehe…U2 rocks!!

Green Day won!! Yeah!!! Did you know that the singer from Green Day, has 2 kids already? 2 or 3? He looks like he just graduated from high school. Hahahahaa…

The tribute to New Orleans was a bit boring and just how many Grammy Lifetime Achievement Awards were handed out that night? I must have counted four, then stopped counting at those old folk people that Tom Hanks introduced.

Anyway, I guess the Grammies were kind of entertaining this year. Kind of mellow, no drama or scandal or wardrobe malfunctions. Teri Hatcher and Alicia Keys tied for Most Sexiest outfits, in my opinion but Kelly Clarkson wins for Most Decent and Sophisticated. Best performance (from what I saw) goes to U2, minus Mary J. Blige.

I can’t wait for the Oscars next.