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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Family Matters

I’m still deeply affected by Arwah Yus’s death. It’s been 6 days since her passing; but the memory of seeing her for the last time at the hospital is still fresh in my mind. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all this is not to let work become the death of me. I’m not saying work is what killed her, but there are so many times that we all had to work, weekends and long weekdays, sacrificing time with family and friends. Arwah Azmi also indirectly died because of work reasons; because he had to work late, he forgot his bus ticket and apartment keys and had to climb the balcony to try to enter. Arwah Nuun also had the same fate; she was supposed to be on leave but had to come to work for some emergency. On her way back home, her car flipped over and she died on the spot.

I miss Arwah Yus so much. It’s like I see her everywhere. I was scrolling through my phone address book and spent 30 minutes complementing whether or not to delete her number. Somehow, having her number still stored in my phone, gave me a sense of connection with her. Crazy as it may sound, I just couldn’t delete her number, you know, just in case, she might contact me. Yeah, like I said, crazy.

Because of what had happened, the whole family went on a bonding frenzy. That Friday night, Dania had her music class concert and party. Seeing my little girl play the organ with such determination filled me with so much pride. As the whole class danced The American Kids, I watched with awe at how much my little girl had actually grown. Somehow it also scared me to think of just how much time I had left with my children. I know its not healthy dwelling on the negative but the last few days have left me rather rattled.


To take my mind off all the sad events going on, hubby took out the kids’ swimming pool the next morning and we all spent an hour or so playing with the kids and getting each other drenched. That night, hubby took me and the kids to IOI Mall. Yeah, I know, nothing all that special but the few hours we spent together was precious. We took the kids on the carousal and bought them new pants. I remember thinking, if I go tomorrow, I want the kids to know and remember that I love them so. Again, Arwah Yus was always on my mind.

We went to my parent’s house on Sunday and on Monday, everyone came for a steamboat dinner. We had friend rice, chicken, fish balls and crab cakes until we almost burst. We played cards and talked until 2 in the morning.

All the family bonding made me feel warm and fuzzy but also made me crave for more. I guess so long as there’s breath in my body, there will be more.

4 comments:

Yan said...

hi along.. i was there 4 years ago.. a colleague of mine died.. lemas kat PD.. ironicnya, masa org tengah cari arwah -- kitorang, girls kat KL dok sibuk cerita pasal dia.. it took me some time to delete his phone number tho.. kengkadang browse gambar time kitorang main bowling sesama, still ada rasa syahdu.. semoga ALLAH rahmati rohnya.. amiin..

lieawulf said...

along, thanks for the well wishes and encouragement... yup, 2006 perhaps will not end the way I want it to... but I think I'm done with crying, making positive "assumptions", and feeling guilty over things that I myself do not understand...

may Allah bless her soul and give you the strength and courage to live on with the fond memories of her.

happy2gether said...

Along...heard about the sad news, eventhough I hardly know her but this incident remind us...to spend more time with our beloved ones...kita tak tau bila Allah nak menjemput kita...

p/s: Have u watched 'Click'by Adam Sandler? the movie make me realize family is everything...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha...

Along said...

Yan: Itulah, the thing is, I can't find a single picture of me and Arwah Yus together. Sedihnya, but I guess if I just think of her often, I might not need photos of her to remind me of what a great friend she was.

Lia: Here's to strength and hope for both of us this coming new year.

Mai: Yes, I watched "Click", siap nangis lagi. Eventhough cite dia agak lawak bodoh, but the main message is if you don't spend time with ur family now, you'll soon find yourself without family at all.