Life Reminders

A few things happened this week that made me stop and give a long hard look at my life.

1. One of En Rashid's office mates passed away due to lung cancer on Wednesday. She was 38 years old; still young and had her whole life ahead of her. The sad part is that no one really knew she had cancer. The office found out only when she was hospitalized on Monday. They had planned for a doa selamat on that Wednesday but later found out she had passed on that morning.

I feel bad because I've been to En Rashid's office many times and I just can't place this person anywhere. En Rashid said I may not have noticed her since she was always on MC or had a doctor's checkup. Still I feel bad because apparently her seat is just opposite En Rashid's cubicle.

One thing I noticed though, in the workplace, the grieving period only lasts a day. If there are urgent matters at hand, then half a day. Then people go on with their lives and you become part of their distant memories. I'm pretty sure that's what would happen when it comes for me to go. So why do we spend so much time in a place that would forget us so easily than being with the ones that really care?

2. A friend of mine told me about her aunt who had passed away recently due to illness. The sad part was, throughout her hard life, she raised 9 children and her sick mom, only to be neglected in her own time of need. 9 children and not one took her in when she got sick! Even when she was hospitalized, the children did not come to visit her or help take her home when it was time to check out. When she passed away, she was alone. When she was found, it was not immediate.

The "best" part is that most, if not all, of her children are very religious. Some of them live abroad, learning and teaching about Islam. Youw ould think people who are so pious would know about the basic stuff, like taking care of your parents. According to my friend, apparently some people get to pick and choose which part of religion they want to follow. Selective memory.

I was so sad when I heard the news about my friend's aunts' passing. In a way, relieved because she no longer suffering but extremely angry at the way she had been treated by her children. I shudder at the thought that I may turn out like that if it comes to my own parents or PIL. I cry at the thought that my own children may toss me aside when I'm old.

Reminders of how short our life is. And how we should always strive to make the best of it.

Hari Blunder Sedunia

Itu la dia camne hari Rabu yang lepas untuk En Rashid. Aku nak ingatkan balik pun macam kesian tapi nak tulis jugak sebagai peringatan untuk dia...lain kali, dengar cakap bini!!

Aritu (lama dah...around a month ago), En Rashid ada bagi gesel pintu tank belah kanan. Ni semua gara2 sibuk dok betulkan aircon time tengah naik ramp parking. Berapa kali dah aku cakap, lain kali...masuk je kereta, tengok dulu apa yang patut betulkan...cermin ke, aircon ke, seat ke..pakai seatbelt, lepas tu baru start kete. Takmo dengar kan..selalu je aku sound dia, dah sampai hiway baru terkial2 nak pasang seatbelt time bawak kete 110km/hr. Tensen aku dibuatnya. Time dah berlaku pergeselan tu, aku diam je. Bebel pun no use. En Rashid tak berani nak cakap apa, kecuali "stupid, stupid" kat diri sendiri. Last2 aku cakap, takyah nak cakap diri tu stupid...lain kali, dengar je cakap bini. Heee.

So, last Wednesday, kitaorang bawak tank pi workshop time lunch. Takde le jauh pun, dekat2 airport subang tu. Sekali ada accident kat federal...nak 45 minutes jugak la baru sampai. Lepas drop offkan tank, kitaorang pun hala balik ke ofis. Sekali dah sampai tempat parking, En Rashid tanya aku..."mana orangnya laptop?"

Laaaaa...laptop tertinggal dalam tank plak!! Dah la lewat untuk meeting. Lepas habis meeting, En Rashid patah balik ke workhop naik myvi. 20 minit lepas tu, aku dapat BBM.

"Kete tersadai tepi hiway"
"Minyak habis"
"Hari blunder sedunia"

If the Universe wants to screw with us, it does it in a big way!

Actually, aku dah cakap dah ngan dia...isi minyak tu dulu, dah agak lama blinking. Sib baik la dapat call tow truck, dapat kena tow sampai petrol station.

Hmmm...itula, lain kali cuba dengar cakap bini!

My Friend's Loss

Last night I hardly got any sleep. Daria refused to sleep and insisted on playing instead. Remember she only went to bed at 10.30pm last night? She woke up at 1.30am, then again at 3.30am and then again at 6am. Then she totally refused to sleep again. OMG...I had already started to forget what it was like to wake up every 2 hours. The thing is, it wasn't because she was hungry or wet. She just wanted to play.

I hope there will not be any repeat of last night tonight. I could hardly function at work today. It's bad enough I have a tender report to finish up ASAP. Grrr...

********************************************************************************

Today I visited a friend. Her stepson passed away this morning. He had died due to a brain tumor. He was 6 years old.

Now this friend of mine, we used to be close. Then life happened and we drifted apart. We meet once in awhile on occasions; she came to see me when I delivered Dania, I visited her when she had her 3rd son. Visits were few and far apart, despite her living in Shah Alam, just a stone throw away from my parents house.

She married a Singaporean Pakistani and became his 3rd wife. While he was still married to the first two. OK, before any of you judge..let me tell you this: it works for her. Somehow, the whole polygamy thing...sharing a husband, staying in the same house with all the other wives...yeah, it's mind boggling and even I'm still trying to come with terms with it all, even after all this time. But this post isn't about that and is not meant to undermine her life, so let's move on.

Her late stepson is about the same age as her eldest boy, so naturally she was the one who breastfed the boy too. Kira jadi ibu susuan la member aku tu. See, harmony...but then again, moving on. Apparently the boy was having trouble concentrating in school and had slight hand tremors. The family took him for a check up and it was then they got the news that he had a big tumor at the base of his spine (behind the neck). It was untreatable since there were too many blood veins involved. This was in March. The boy went for radiation therapy and for a moment, the tumor shrunk to half its size. Then in July it became aggressive. A few weeks after that, the boy lost feeling in his left side. During his last days, he was unresponsive and had medication pumped in 24 hours to prevent him from having fits and choking on his own saliva.

He passed away around 730am today. Innalillahiwatainnahirajiun..

I almost didn't go and see my friend because of the insane workload I had but I'm glad my other friends insisted in dragging me there. For one thing I got to see my friend after so long. And also, I got a reminder about how fragile life is and how we should always cherish the ones we love.

To Y, be strong. I hope we'll meet again soon. Love you.

Moment of Truth

I was watching this reality show previously when the contestant was asked the following question.

" Do you feel that your mom abandoned you during your pregnancy?"

She answered "Yes" to which the female computer confirmed "That answer is TRUE."






Interesting.

Three Confessions Quiz

I read this on KelticKaos's blog and decided to do it. My confessions may not be as dramatic as hers but still required a lot of soul searching on my part.

Rules: Post three (3) confessions in your blog or journal. They can be as personal as you want them to be, so use your discretion. Write about your habits or idiosyncrasies, or something you did as a child... Anything at all. Most importantly, however, they must be something you've never written about in your blog or journal before. Once finished, tag/invite three different readers to do the quiz on their blog or journal.

1. First confession
I daydream a lot. And I mean a lot. When I'm in the shower, I practise my Oscar speech. When I'm driving, I pretend I'm a guest on Oprah. Although lately it's been the Ellen show. When I'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep, I imagine my conversation with Edward Norton. Usually we're stranded airline passengers and we get talking to pass the time and he falls in love with me (but of course!!) but I can't marry him because I don't want to live a celebrity's life and I don't want him to quit acting because that's what made me fall in love with him in the first place...blah..blah..blah. So you can see why it usually takes me 1 hour to actually fall asleep.

2. Second confession
I once put a few drops of washing liquid into my brother's milk when we were kids. I think I was 8 and he was 5 at the time. I was mad at him for something, most probably my mom had scolded me for something HE did. [Hints for moms; Do not blame your eldest for everything that happens in the house, he/she WILL take it out on the actual perpetrator behind your back]. I remember not feeling at all guilty at the time, but I was praying for my brother's life that night when he couldn't sleep because he had a tummy ache.

3. Third confession
After three miscarriages, I fear I may never be able to get pregnant again. A subset of this fear is the fact I may never be able to provide hubby with a son. Although he says he doesn't mind. Which is probably true. But still, a part of me would feel like a total failure for not having more children / a son.


I'm supposed to tag three people but I'm not going to. Anyone who wants to do this tag, let me know in the comments and I'll come visit your blog. Here's to reading better, juicier confessions than mine..tee hee hee..

Money Advice...From Someone Who's Also Still Learning

Today and yesterday I attended a very interesting course; Finance for Non-Financial Executives. The reason was initially so I could make heads and tails out of all the financial reports and P&L statements I had to go through during the course of my work, but in the end I came out with a lot more knowledge.

During one of our chit chat sessions, our lecturer touched on the subject of personal financial planning. She gave an example of her ex-colleagues who had retired but were forced to dive back into the corporate sector because they had non or insufficient savings to last them during their retirement years. She then gave an example of another ex-colleague who is not only currently enjoying his retirement years playing golf, but also has 3-4 houses for renting, thus generating passive income on the side.

Being seated in the front of the class subjected me to be the "example" during the lessons. The prof asked me whether I had any assets to my name; I mentioned I had a car and an apartment, both of them already fully paid for. To say she was impressed was an understatement. In fact looking back, I probably was the person in the class with the most net worth to my name.

During lunch hour, I was approached by one of class members who asked me about my financial strategies; how on earth was I able to afford a car and apartment and not have any loans to burden me with? Did I win the lottery? Did I get a huge inheritance from anyone?

My answer was simple; I made sure I spent less than what I earned.

Sounds simple, right? Yet you would be surprised to know that a lot of people I know, not only live from one paycheck to another but also accumulate debts on a monthly basis.

She then asked me, I make so and so every month and it's barely enough to get by. How can I ever have enough to start saving?

I told her, make your savings automatic. Fill out the form from HR and allow them to deduct a certain amount from your salary that will be autodeposited into your ASB or Tabung Haji. Just make sure you place this savings into a place that you can't just use an atm card to withdraw money from. Depositing money into another bank where you don't have an atm card is also a good option.

My concept is "out of sight, out of mind". If that portion of money is not made readily available for me to spend, I usually find that I don't even miss it and even find ways to compensate for the decrease in spending money.

Ways I've cut down my monthly expenses.
1. I sometimes bring breakfast to work. Usually I eat it a bit later in the day, at around 930am. That way, at lunch I'm still half full and don't feel the urge to stuff myself. Another idea would be to also bag your lunch to work, something I'm also considering after I get a more reliable maid.

2. I drink lots of plain water. At my office, we have a ready water cooler so basically plain water is free for the staff. When I go out for lunch with my colleagues, I fill up a bottle of water and take it with me. That usually saves me RM1.50 if I were to order hot lemon tea. Times that by 5 days a week and 4 weeks a month and the savings can really add up.

3. I carpool when going out for lunch. We usually take turns driving so everyone gets a chance to save on petrol.

4. I make a grocery list and make sure I stick to it. It's very easy to get "lost" at the grocery stores and by pushing the trolley down every aisle, I would normally find myself spending up to RM200 per trip, mostly on items that were never on my list to begin with. By sticking to my list and minimizing the amount of time I spend at the grocery stores, ensures that I cut down on fraudulent spending and increase my savings.

There are a lot of ways to increase your savings. Another tip that I found extremely useful was to meticulously track my expenditures for at least 3 months, then go over the receipts and figure out where my money was going to and how I could cut down on the spending. I found out that one of my weaknesses was to visit the store at the petrol stations whenever I stopped to fill up on petrol. Those RM2.50 cups of corn can really burn into your budget if you allow them to.

I would recommend everyone who's interested in finding out how to improve their net worth to visit The Simple Dollar. I find the articles to be very informative and really easy to understand, which is important for a non-finance executive like me.

Reliving Our Loss

When I first read this article, I nearly bawled my eyes out. Never mind that it was lunch time at work and there were people all around me. Not only was I feeling the pain of the mothers and fathers of these beloved children, I was also reliving my own experiences.

Snippets from the article:

“It’s the worst news that anyone could get — that your child is going to die. These horrible feelings aren’t going to go away with a termination."
The loss of a child is something you never get over with, regardless of whether the child ever got born or not. For me, losing two in one year was ultimately devastating; there are times where I watch the girls playing together and the sight makes me silently grief for my unborn children.

Many have family and friends who are mystified as to why a couple would continue a pregnancy knowing their child will die. Loved ones often fear that by continuing on, the parents are simply delaying their grief or torturing themselves. What will they say to strangers who casually ask if the nursery is ready? And what if bringing the baby into this world causes the child suffering?
After hubby and I found out the condition of our third child, we initially wanted to continue the pregnancy. Correction, I wanted to continue the pregnancy, despite my HG. But then I got to thinking, what would I do if I went back to work and people started asking me when the baby was due? What would I say to those who asked whether or not I knew the baby's sex? How would I react if people asked me if I was excited to have another baby? I started thinking about all those situations and it made me so sad. Plus, our doctor also said, that if our baby would live to full term, as soon our baby was born, he/she would have to be placed in an incubator and be hooked up to all these machines to keep it alive. What quality of life would my baby have? Could I be that selfish to put our baby through that, just so I can hold our baby, look at our baby and breathe in our baby's intoxicating baby smell. Part of me was but a larger part of me accepted fate and decided to let go early. But still, part of me wonders...

Other families may have religious reasons that guide their choice. Sometimes parents may hold out a hope that somehow the terminal diagnosis was wrong. And others just don’t want to be the one who decides when their baby dies.
Hubby and I consulted the Mufti to confirm what we were doing was the best thing for us. We consulted the best doctors to ensure us that the diagnosis was correct, and that there wasn't even 1% chance of our baby surviving. Even after all that, the decision to let go was not easy. After having felt the baby kick inside of me for a few weeks, the decision just tore me inside.

Some have wondered why she’d put herself through a pregnancy and birth when she knew she’d go home with empty arms. “It isn’t all for nothing,” she says. “You can still love that baby, protect that baby and give that baby a peaceful goodbye. That’s not nothing.”
If I wasn't suffering from severe HG at the time, there would be a greater chance I would have just continued with my pregnancy. Call it blind faith, call it Mother's Intuition, I just feel that those few hours, days, weeks, with our baby would have been the most precious our family would ever have together.

Sigh....

I just realised something; Thursday is hubby's birthday. It's also the anniversary of the loss of our baby.

Hi there Baby. Ibu still misses you and thinks of you always. We all love you and hope to be with you in Heaven when our time comes.

And My Butt is Now As Wide As a...I Don't Want to Think About It

We're here in Melaka at my in-laws for Raya Haji. Crap, which reminds me..

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA, EVERYONE!!!

OK, now that we have the season greetings out of the way, here's a quick rundown of what we did today.

Eat.


Eat some more.

More eating.

Don't disturb me, can't you see I'm eating.

You get the picture.



Tons of food, and I mean tons. Of course, when you have a hundred mouths to feed, having tons of food to satisfy everyone's stomach is necessary. We had laksa, nasi briyani, fried bihun, ketupat, lontong, peanut sauce and various types of desserts. We took down a cow which was shared by everyone. Hmmmm, sup tulang lembu asli. Sedapnya!!!

Again I forgot to bring my camera so that's why I'm using pictures I found on the net to illustriate how much I ate and how I really need to exercise after this holiday season. Taebo, here I come!!

Good Luck and Farewell

Today Selangor had a holiday, Sultan's birthday. I took the opportunity to see an old friend who will be leaving KL to go back to her hometown in Kedah. Brought the kids along to play with her girls.

We stayed for lunch (I bought KFC) and the girls played painting (1st time for Dania and Dina so it was an exciting occasion) and cooking and hola hoops. Games that girls play when they're together.

I'll miss my friend but I know she's doing the best for her girls. It's amazing for me to see her so strong after losing her hubby so suddenly a few months back. I guess when you have kids, you have no choice but to be strong.

We never really talked about the incident or how she was going to continue living without the support and love of her hubby. Some things, you just have to take one day at a time.

So I'll pray for her. I'll pray for her kids. I'll pray for Allah to take care of them and to give them strength and happiness in their new life.

I was really sad to leave her house today but I hope this won't be the last time I see her. Kedah isn't that far from KL and there's always the INTERNET to help us stay in touch.

So Z, stay strong. I'll miss you and your insane chatter. Here's to seeing you and your family again real soon.

Maya Angelou's Poem

This poem goes out to all the gals who rock this world...so that we all know what we should absolutely have.

"MAYA ANGELOU'S" BEST POEM EVER

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...

enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..

whom she can trust,whom she can't,and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods...when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...a month...and a year...

My Friend's Loss

Last week, a good friend of mine lost her husband unexpectedly. Details are still hazy but apparently it could have been a heart attack. He passed away in his sleep, at 3am.

News of his death reached me early that Friday morning courtesy from an sms from an old schoolmate. It shook me to the core; arwah was my age, in fact we were old schoolmates.

My heart bleeds for my friend and her three beautiful daughters. I sent her an sms, expressing my sadness. I wanted to call but didn't feel strong enough. I was scared I would be the one crying my eyes out when it is my friend who needs all the support she can get now.

As I spent the weekend digesting the news, I got to thinking; arwah was considered quite active, playing futsal on a regular basis. Yet his sudden death goes to show that good food and exercise does not ensure a long and healthy life. Maybe arwah had some illness that I don't know about, but through my almost daily YM's with my friend, she never mentioned any health problems.

What about me? I hardly ever exercise nowadays, just the occasional taebo. Hubby? Lagilah!! Scary...to think maybe we too are walking time bombs.

When I received the news, hubby was not around, off with his friends on his guy-bonding trip to Tawau. It pained me to think, just 4 days away from hubby and I was already feeling so lonely. I can't begin to imagine how my friend must be feeling right now.

Z, if you're reading this, please no I am praying for you and the kids. Please, please call me if you need anything. Be strong.

Yet Another Thing I Miss From The USA

I used to be hooked on this drink. I would buy bottles and bottles of it, and the best thing about it...no one else liked the drink but me!!


Hahahaha...more for me. No need to share.


Then I saw this billboard ad (dunno if real or not) and I got slightly offended.

Hey! It may taste like cough syrup but it don't taste THAT BAD!!

If I had Superpowers, It Would Be The Ability To Stop Time

Last Friday: Havoc (Dina's TT class and Dania's music class. Kids famished, ate at McDee (forgot to tell Enon to give the kids dinner before 6). Send Enon back to ibu's house. Go to Makngah's house for document signing. Reach home at 11.30pm (poor kids). Too tired to bath or "layan" hubby. Hah!! Oya, MIL in the (messy) house.

Saturday: Havoc (in-laws and cousin-in-laws came to house for dinner)

Sunday: Created own havoc but now pleased with state of the house (no more dust bunnies under the sofa). Spring cleaned house from 6.30am until 8.30am. Ironed most of the clothes that needed ironing (hate this!!).

Monday: Still tired but looking forward to Friday because I"m TAKING LEAVE!! (To take care of the kids coz MIL has to go back to M'ka so its not actually a holiday-yeah-go-for-facial type of holiday but still)

Wishing Him All the Best

I found his wedding photos online. I wanted to be happy seeing him happy.

Instead I felt hurt.

I know that's not right. I'm soooooooo over him. And I love hubby so much.

But a small part of me wishes he was unhappily single, as a result of dumping me in the past.

But honestly, if he's experiencing just a fraction of happiness that I'm feeling being married, then he has a great life.

And a bigger part of me truly wishes that for him.

True Confessions

I've found these great new sites...

http://truemomconfessions.com/

http://trueofficeconfessions.com/

I've read through a few of the confessions and found myself nodding my head to some of them.

Some of my favorite quotes:

"There's a load of laundry sitting in the dryer. Since Friday. Maybe I'll get it out tomorrow." - from truemomconfessions.com

I can relate becoz See Previous Post. I'm gong to have nightmares of dirty laundry chasing me around the house soon.

"I worked at an advertising agency for 8 years- and each year we were required to write our own "self evaluations". After the first two years of "self evaluations" that nobody paid attention to, I would just cut and paste the text year to year on the form! So for 6 years nobody caught on to the SAME exact self evaluation. morons." - from trueofficeconfessions.com

I can relate becoz...well, I can relate. Truth of the matter is, those at the top don't really give a damn. They already have their company car, and offices with a view and who cares about a mangly employee who "wishes to exert her utmost potential to bring more revenue to the company". Bleahhh...

"My hubby is in Iraq. I wish more women would realize how great it is to have your hubby around than to complain about the littlest of things." - from truemomconfessions.com

I need to remind myself no matter how badly hubby messes up sometimes (and its not that often), I'm lucky he's around and there when I need him.


I added in a few of my own confessions to the site. See if you can spot them.

Be Right Back!!

I'm still here. Things at work have been hectic (I finally transferred to a different unit) so while I'm still in the same department, my tasks and work deliverables have changed. Overall, it has been a good change for me. I wake up with a purpose going to work. I have To Do Lists. By the end of the week, I can check off things that have been achieved.

Yeah, I'm happier work wise.

So while work has been taking up more of my time, it's been good. But don't worry, I have tons to blog about, especially about the girls. I'll find the time during the weekends.

Take care, peeps!!

Secrets

I have a scholar friend in UK, we'll call her "I", who recently let me know she met an old friend of mine from school, "N".

At first, I was all like "cool, what are the odds of that happening?"

Then it dawn on me. These two gals know me from different parts of my life. The only thing they have in common is Moi. The things that they can gossip to each other about me is...how should I put it...painfully embarrassing.

I used to be dorm mates with N. And no, we did not experiment with lesbian sex but I guess that kind of information would be kind of embarrassing too. We were however very close, the bestest of friends. The type of friends you could confide your love for Anthony Hopkins and/or Sean Connery and not fear any repercussions for having a thing for old, bald, charismatic men.

Anyway, being young and away from parental control, we did a lot of stupid things together. Stupid as in how? Stupid as in taking a bath in the boys toilet at the school during a water draught and ALMOST getting caught by the boys. Stupid as in dressing up in all-black (ghetto gitu!)and having a cake fight behind the school halls. Stupid as in getting into a relationship with any of the boys from our school, just because everyone was doing it. I was there for her when she got panic attacks rehearsing for the debate team. She was there for me when I broke down and cried over River Phoenix's death. You know, the real important stuff.

We were dorm mates for 2 years and those two years were the best and worst times of my life. We stayed in touch after school and went to each other's wedding. We saw less of each other than we would want to but emails and sms's kept us updated. The last time I saw her was a few months before she moved to the UK.

I first met "I" during my scholar induction course. To say we hit it off would be...exaggerating, heee, but the years have matured us both and we now visit each other's blog daily and admire pictures of our kids. She was there when I had this insane crush on another one of our scholar friends and probably knows about the whole breaking-down-and-not-being-in-a-relationship-for-2-years-becoz-still-hung-up-on-the-guy despite clapping with one hand (bertepuk sebelah tangan). She knows about all my other stupid and embarrassing things I've done since I graduated from school and supposedly matured.

Seriously, if N and I were to sit down everyday and exchange stories about me and my stupid antics, they would have enough to last for years.

Damn!!

To N and I, go easy on me, kay. Kalau aku asyik tersedak, aku tau lah sapa dok ngata aku nanti. Heeee...

Scarface vs Clearface

I'm a sucker for free stuff. I go to the supermarket and I'll be the one lining up to grab the free food sample, regardless whether or not I even LIKE coffee (don't!) or even care that the new improved Vico is made from chocolate imported from California or the Caribbean.

So you can guess my excitement when a colleague of mine gave me a voucher for a free facial treatment at NY Skin Solutions. FREE!! Facial Treatment!! I nearly had an orgasm as looked over the voucher and noticed that the FREE!! facial treatment would cost RM300 at normal price.

That's how you gage whether or not the facial treatment is going to be good or bad. At RM300, they're probably going to do more than just slap a hot, wet towel on my face and scrub my pimples raw with a wire brush.

So last week, I took the time to go for this FREE!! facial treatment. I was a bit nervous coz I was anticipating getting the 3rd degree, you know, the deal with free samples. What if they just did the treatment on half of my face, as a marketing gimmick to get me to pay them money to treat my other half? What if they did such a good job that I would be mesmerized by the results and throw my credit cards at them for more?

It was then I decided. I came for the FREE!! treatment and that's all!!

The lady that attended me was nice but I freaked out a bit when she told me the session would last for 3 hours. WOW!! 3 hours of someone pampering my face was excessive, even for a pampering-whore like myself.

Turns out the pampering session lasted for 2 hours (and what a bliss those 2 hours were..) and the last hour was for a full force SALES PITCH!!

I knew it!!

Luckily I had psyched myself up before going into the spa or I would have found myself RM5600 poorer. You heard me, RM5600!! For 20 treatments. Which calculates to Rm280 per treatment.

I suspect for that amount of money, I would end up with a face as clear as a baby's butt or glowing like Beyonce after a session of humping her "Beautiful Liar" but Bloody Hell!! Damn expensive.

I called up hubby to ask his opinion and he freaked out when I told him the cost. "It's not like your pimples are life threatening!!!"

Errr...point well taken.

So I stood my ground and eventhough the nice lady lowered the package to 10 treatments at RM2800 and lower still to RM1000 for 5 treatments and lower still to RM500 for 3 treatments, I refused to budge. One thing, I never can find the time to go for facials. Even when I make a point to go, I always end up either dozing in bed or just hanging out with hubby and the girls.

So after 2 hours of been pampered with biohydrolic-vanilla essence-all natural-seaweed....stuff, my face is objecting to being slapped and lathered with over-the-counter RM7.50 facial foams by prospering with multiple red buds of goo.

But what the heck, it's not like my pimples are life threatening.

Happy Birthday to Me - The Big 3-1

I'm 31 years old today. 31. One year after the big 3-0.

Not much has changed since last year. Still at the same company, doing the same thing. Still staying in the same house. Still driving the same car. Still a mother to two daughters. Still married to the same man.

I wish I could report more positive changes in my life. One year, 365 days and I can't think of one single thing that I did that I'm really proud of.

I still have lots to be grateful for. I'm grateful for:

1. My family - my hubby and my two beautiful daughters. My parents who I get to see every weekend. My brothers who have grown up to be wonderful uncles to my kids. My in-laws who have accepted me for all my flaws and faults.

2. My job - as much as I like to bitch and moan about it, my work has given me a lot of opportunities to travel and meet such interesting people. I've made friends (and enemies?) throughout my 7 years in the work force and I count myself lucky to have them. Plus, having money (though not always enough) at the end of the month is always nice!!

3. My health - After being sick and bedridden for 2 months, there is nothing I would take for granted ever again. The fact I can EAT without throwing up! I can WALK without feeling dizzy! I can hold and hug my kids without being nauseous by the smell of their shampoo. I can hug hubby at night without being offended by his BO!! Hahahaha, just simple things I would usually take for granted. Thank you, thank you, thank you Allah for giving me health to enjoy these things.

4. My car - It's a Wira. It's 7 years old. It still runs great and though it's not as nice looking as before, it does its job of taking me from point A to point B in one piece. As much as I would love to have a new car, it would still break my heart to let go of my Wira. My very first BIG purchase. WHR ****, I love you!!

There are many things I would like to improve, now that I am older.

1. My relationship with hubby - Even though we've known together for more than 13 years (since 1994), there are still a lot of things about hubby that continue to surprise me. We've had fights that would rival WWWII but each time we've made up and vowed to be better spouses to each other. Our previous loss helped bring us closer together, made us see that whatever life would throw at us, we could always get through them by supporting each other. I hope to be a better, if not the best wife I could possibly be.

2. My relationship with my kids - As a full-time working mom, my deepest concern is that I don't spend enough time with my kids. Even when I get home in the evening, the only thing I wanna do is lay down and watch America's Next Top Model or CSI or Law & Order. Now, I vow not to turn on the TV until my kids are asleep. I wanna spend more time with them, more quality time with them. I realise they'll only be kids for a short time. I want them to know, that without a doubt, that they are the most important things in my life.

3. My health - I'm not looking to enter any marathons but I do want to start working out again. I want to be able to climb the stairs at home without having to catch a breath. I want to be able to play hide-and-seek with the kids without surrendering 10 minutes into the game. I want to be able to be there for my family, to be there when my kids are all frown up and have kids of their own.

4. My career - I don't want to be stuck in a rut. I want to be able to wake up and be excited about going to work. I want to feel that I'm making a contribution to the company I'm with. If hubby would let me quit (Hi, hubby..love you!) I would like to kick off my Wedding Planner business.

5. My overall attitude towards life - I want to spend more days smiling and laughing than bitching and moaning. I want to have more happy days than sad. I want to be able to take challenges in life by the horns and be able to look back a year from now and say "My life is so much better than it was a year ago".

So here's to me and my so-called birthday wishes. Cheers!!!

Emotions

It still hits me hard. That feeling...that emptiness. I see pregnant woman and I want to be them. I see babies and I want to hold them but I fear that if I do, I'll start crying.

I thought I had grieved enough. Maybe I was wrong.

****************************************************

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers out there. I had a blast, mini-honeymoon with hubby (and the two girls in tow) at Holiday Inn for the weekend. Story and pictures coming soon.

How was your Mother's Day?